


Chrysanthemum

by NoSongSoSweet



Category: The Night Circus - Erin Morgenstern
Genre: 10th grade me would be proud, Angst, Canonical Character Death, F/F, Romance, Sad, Why do I do this, how do you tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-24
Updated: 2020-07-24
Packaged: 2021-03-04 19:40:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,664
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25491766
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NoSongSoSweet/pseuds/NoSongSoSweet
Summary: "𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘵𝘰𝘭𝘥 𝘮𝘦 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘧𝘪𝘤𝘬𝘭𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘧𝘭𝘦𝘦𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨.""𝘐 𝘭𝘪𝘦𝘥."- Celia Bowen and Tsukiko, The Night CircusOr, more eloquently put, a short tribute to a tragic couple after reading Sōseki Natsume. Written three years ago, and rewritten now for my own pleasure, hopefully it keeps up with the spirit of my sixteen-year-old self. Do not repost! :)
Relationships: Hinata/Tsukiko (The Night Circus)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 7





	Chrysanthemum

**Author's Note:**

> First time posting and I do a fanfic I wrote three years ago as part of losing a bet. Hopefully it goes better than planned and anyone who reads this enjoys :)

It had been a cold winter morning, grey clouds swirling in the sky, while a pearlescent sun struggled to shine behind them. The man in grey had insisted that Tsukiko take in the chill by the pond in the gardens.

_You shall be one with your element this way._

When Tsukiko had asked, he had assured her that rarely anyone entered.

"It is the only way you will learn," He had insisted, and Tsukiko couldn't muster a complaint about that. She enjoyed being so close to her element, the water singing a sweet song as her fingers ghosted over it. Ripples fanned out from her touch as her hand glided over the still pond. _This was her element_.

Tsukiko mouthed a word, the magic humming as it touched the air and melded with the water, and the ripples started once more, only now they twisted and frothed into miniature waves, large enough to splash an adjacent tree and her blue and gold kimono. The chill was seeping into her skin like miniature knives stabbing her to the bone.

Yet she only inhaled the frosty air, and closed her eyes. Her element hovered in the air, sept into her skin, and dripped from her fingers. It was a cold and stiff feeling, but it brought a pleasant peace with every breath.

It was easy to get lost in this state. But her eyes still cracked open at the sound of footsteps behind her, and when she turned, there was a woman standing there.

Her mahogany hair was pulled back, yet strands fell wildly still. Her red kimono had golden dragons slithering on it, their design so alive that it looked as if they were breathing amber flame. The only expression on the woman's face was a mild shock, but it melted away into content as she approached Tsukiko, gracefully taking a seat next to her.

"I'm Hinata," The woman said. Tsukiko considered responding rudely, but there was no energy left in her to reply in such a manner. She let Hinata's words hang in the air, bleeding into the silence around them.

"Do you enjoy the gardens here?" Hinata asked, a hint of curiosity in her tone.

Tsukiko rolled her eyes, but nonetheless said, "I prefer the peace of this pond to the torrent of Kyoto's ocean."

Hinata nodded. "I agree. Though I am more apt to enjoy a hearth than a maelstrom."

Tsukiko finally looked at Hinata. The other woman's eyes were bright, a brilliant brown that seemed to edge towards amber the more Tsukiko stared at her.

"I'm Tsukiko," She finally said. Hinata smiled, before turning back to the scene before them. Tsukiko realized it was warmer now, the chill of the morning evaporating almost instantly since Hinata's arrival.

"It's so peaceful here, isn't it?" Hinata asked, a wistful sigh leaving her. Her hand brushed against Tsukiko's as she adjusted her kimono, and Tsukiko nearly flinched at the heat she exuded. "I have always found nature peaceful."

"The last bastion of peace," Tsukiko said wryly, and Hinata giggled, the sound like tiny bells.

They said nothing more after that, content in each other's presence. Any of their awkward demeanor had evaporated with the chill, and even with the many questions on Tsukiko's tongue, something in her told her not to break the moment. She barely heard Hinata ask her if she would be here tomorrow, but Tsukiko nodded almost instinctively, and HInata's hand brushed against Tsukiko's shoulder in goodbye as she walked away.

Belatedly, Tsukiko realized that there had been a smell itching at her senses, but it had fluttered away with Hinata.

\------------

It went on this way for many years.

A comfortable silence became easy conversations, and when it delved into topics that made either uncomfortable, they switched almost effortlessly. Tsukiko could almost effortlessly recount the things she had learnt about Hinata.

Hinata had been born in Toyama, in a city of ash and a thousand voices. Hinata despised the Westerners, but accepted them as an inevitable change. Hinata loved the sound of the turtle-dove. Hinata couldn't sleep with noise, no matter how quiet. Hinata always wore variations of red, orange, and yellow. Hinata smelled of ginger and cream.

And when Hinata wasn't there, Tsukiko would walk the gardens, and let her magic take flight.

She would wave her hand and ice sculptures would rise from the dewy grass, their structure so close to life that if one blinked, it would be as if they were dancing, frozen hair blowing in the wind. She created crystals that hung in the air and sparkled in the sun, but never melted. She created a smooth sculpture of a dog and then touched his forehead, watching as he bounded around the garden, his bark the sound of chimes in the wind.

Yet there were some creations that weren't her own. Tsukiko had once stood before a tree that had just been a sapling in the morning, now magnificent. She had watched as its leaves crumpled into brilliant orange, and crimson fire raced up the sturdy bark, before engulfing the entire tree in flame. When she came back the next day, out of the black ash stood another green sapling, tender and ready to grow again.

There were birds too, singing beautiful songs before soaring and twisting and falling to the ground when the sun dipped below the horizon, and their remnants became roses.

When Tsukiko asked the man in gray of this phenomenon, he laughed, low and gravelly.

"Come now, was it not clear from the start? These gardens are not exclusive to you. _This_ is the venue."

Those words guided her hurried footsteps back into the gardens, late in the afternoon when she never was there. The sun was high in the sky, beating down on her as the petals of the cherry blossoms blew in the air. And there, next to the pond, stood a woman in red.

Hinata, with ashes cradled in her palm, and Tsukiko watched as Hinata gently blew on the ashes. The black soot twirled in the air, before yellow sparks consumed it, and transformed into birds.

Hinata turned to Tsukiko with a soft smile. It would have sent a sweet pang to her heart if Tsukiko wasn't reeling.

"I always loved how you took inanimate objects and made them into vibrant creations," Hinata said genuinely, gesturing daintily to the ice sculpture just a few feet away. Tsukiko could hear her dog howling from far away.

She finally found her voice. "My forte has always been invigoration over rejuvenation."

Hinata laughed softly, and a warmth raced Tsukiko. "And mine is creation and rejuvenation. What a pair we make."

"You are my opponent," Tsukiko said desperately. "We are competitors."

"I knew we were competitors the moment I saw that sculpture. Does my lack of forthright action disturb you?"

Hinata was walking forward and placing a hand on Tsukiko's shoulder. Tsukiko swallowed tightly. No one had been so close to her in a long time, but this felt right.

"I suppose I should be grateful for that lack of action. Your fire burns hot," Tsukiko replied, and Hinata grinned.

"And your water is so cool and precise," Hinata whispered. "Our instructors should become matchmakers."

Her brown eyes were so close to Tsukiko, and the smell of ginger and cream was overwhelming and incredible.

"Will you act now, Hinata?" Tsukiko asked, trying to conceal the nervousness in her voice. Hinata looked almost surprised, just as she had been when they had first, but it became pure happiness, an emotion that surely was reflected in Tsukiko's gaze as Hinata leaned up and pressed her lips to Tsukiko's.

\------------

"You have an interesting mark," Hinata hummed, her voice soft against Tsukiko's nice as her fingers traced the crescent moon on Tsukiko's nape, and Tsukiko suppressed a shiver.

"Show me yours," Tsukiko asked, and Hinata smiled, pushing up her sleeve to reveal a _suzaku_ , the vermillion bird. It was beautiful, bright against Hinata's pale skin. Tsukiko leaned down and brushed a kiss against it, and when she looked back up, Hinata's smile had grown wider, though a pretty flush had been painted on her cheeks.

"I enjoy you like this," Hinata whispered, pressing her lips against Tsukiko's cool skin. "All sweet, no bite."

"Only for you," Tsukiko murmured amusedly, and Hinata giggled, even as Tsukiko brought her into another kiss.

\------------

Hinata gasped. " _Oh_ , what is this?"

Tsukiko pressed ice in the shape of a lotus into Hinata's palm, so intricately shaped that it took an extra second to realize that it wasn't truly a lotus. Hinata was beaming as she traced the lotus with her fingers.

"It will never melt, no matter how you try to heat it."

Hinata looked up at her with blazing conviction. "I will create a gift somehow worth of you."

Tsukiko didn't know how to tell her that Hinata could give her ashes, and Tsukiko would be just as content.

\------------

Days became months and months became years. Their creations were no longer feats of arrogance or pride, bold displays of their skill. Yes, they competed still, but only to see who could draw the largest smile or gasp of amazement from each other. Tsukiko wasn't sure how it had become this way, but she wouldn't question it.

Then came a day when Hinata's beautiful 燃える木, _Blazing Tree_ , remained ash in the morning, no longer growing back to its former stature, that Tsukiko felt a sinking feeling deep in her stomach. Upon seeing the sight, she had raced to the pond on the edge of the gardens, a quiet spot where she and Hinata had shared many secrets together.

Hinata was there, but the world seemed tilted even with Tsukiko's relief. The ashes before Hinata were barely smoldering, so unlike her bold prowess, and there were red petals mixed in them.

"What are you doing?" Tsukiko asked incredulously. The magic before her was empty, so unlike the soulful passion that Hinata imbued into every one of her creations, an extension of her lively persona.

"I discovered what ends the competition," Hinata said, her voice unnaturally empty, devoid of all passion. She turned to Tsukiko, and Tsukiko flinched at the tear tracks on her face, her eyes puffy and red.

"One of us must die."

Silence, not unlike every morning they shared before, permeated the air between them after her words. Only this time, it was a silence of content. It was a gaping chasm, and Tsukiko didn't know how to breach it.

"All my life," Hinata started, her voice breaking. "I strove to use my magic to rejuvenate the world around me. But even I cannot cheat death, Tsukiko."

"This cannot be true..." Tsukiko whispered, and stepped forward instinctually, reaching out for Hinata to comfort her.

Hinata flinched away, her eyes blazing. "It is. Believe me."

"Hinata, who told you this? Your instructor?" Hinata scoffed and shook her head, wrapping her arms around herself.

"Well there it is then. Hinata, the winner is the one with the most skill. What use are we to them if one of us dies?"

"Tsukiko, my instincts are screaming at me on this. Why have we only met one victor, and not two in the past?"

"Who would listen to the loser of this competition?" Tsukiko pointed out. "We only want to hear from the victors!"

Hinata looked disbelieving and betrayed, and Tsukiko reached out for her again. Hinata pushed her away, her hair wild now. The ashes were smoldering, and Tsukiko could hear the familiar crackle of fire.

"How can you not believe me?" Hinata asked desperately.

"There is always an ulterior motive, and this one might end with us dead!"

Her words had transformed into a shriek and Tsukiko was paralyzed, unable to say anything, or do anything to soothe the pain on Hinata's face. Hinata stormed away, and Tsukiko glanced downwards to see crimson flowers growing once more. The petals, she realized, looked like spilled blood.

It was not until five days had passed, each in agony and desperation, that Tsukiko could speak to the man in grey. He walked into the small room, solemn and imposing, and Tsukiko did not even look at him.

"Is it true?"

The man in grey said nothing, only looking contemplative as Tsukiko fixed him with a glare.

He finally nodded his head, and Tsukiko inhaled sharply, feeling her entire world fall away, piece by piece, and she gripped her kimono to right herself.

"Let me offer you some advice."

_I want nothing from you_ , Tsukiko wanted to hiss, but her words turned to ash almost instantly.

"Extricate yourself from this foolish relationship. Your competitor will try now to end this competition. If you are still contemplating moral obligations, or perhaps even _love_ , you will die tomorrow."

_You know nothing, you know nothing_ , Tsukiko wanted to scream, but the man in grey only walked away, and Tsukiko curled on the futon, and even with her eyes closed, Hinata's smile burned in her mind.

_We'll figure something out, I promise, Hinata._

When the sun finally emerged above the horizon, blazing and gorgeous, Tsukiko hurried out towards the gardens. Her footsteps skidded to a halt and she suppressed a whimper and gasped at the sight before her.

Her precious Hinata was staring before a burning pillar of fire, her sandal just inches from the fire, so close that black soot was falling onto her white kimono. In her hand was Tsukiko's lotus, gripped tight between her fingers as if Hinata was afraid of letting go.

"Don't!" Tsukiko gasped, and Hinata stiffened, before turning to her with a wistful smile.

"It's alright, Tsukiko," Hinata said gently, as if Tsukiko were a child. "This is what I want."

"You don't have to do this! We can figure this out!" Tsukiko pleaded, and Hinata's expression became painted.

"Please, please, don't. I don't want to win this without you!"

"That's the problem. We don't win, 'Kiko," Hinata replied softly. "They do. But, if I take my own life…"

She trailed off, turning back to the fire stretching as high as the sky. The plumes of black smoke were curling off of it, and Tsukiko couldn't help but notice how it became miniature birds. Birds of smoke, and Hinata as the kindling.

"If I take my own life," Hinata's words shocked Tsukiko back to her beloved, the determination in her face making Tsukiko's heart sink. "Then it's my choice and then we win. They don't."

"Please, don't, I can't do this without you!"

Hinata gave her a brilliant smile. "Oh yes you can. You always teased me for my inaction. Well now I know what I know, and I will make my move."

Tsukiko started steps forward, but hissed at the flames licking at her feet. Hinata wouldn't let her come close, and she was willing to burn Tsukiko to do this. She could only watch helplessly as Hinata took another step forward to the fire, and her love turned back to her with one final smile.

"This is my obligation, my Tsukiko. I love you."

And within seconds she was gone. The fire roared and consumed her, engulfing in her a golden light, before vanishing and becoming only ash. Hinata's magic, gone once she was. Tsukiko fell to her knees before the remnants of the fire, and buried her face in her hands, sobs finally racking her body as everything overwhelmed her at once.

It was too quiet now. The birds had stopped singing.

Tsukiko forced herself to look at the ashes before her, brushing away the tears. She thrust a shaking hand forward, and let it hover just above. _This wasn't her magic_ , something within her screamed, but she didn't care.

"I will never let you be forgotten," She whispered to the air, and as her words echoed through the garden, a beautiful flower began unfurling in the ash, the color of amethyst. _Their creation._

"I love you too."


End file.
